


“We All Deserve Second Chances...

by HecoHansen31



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angry Words, Angst, F/M, OOC Donna Troy, OOC Roy Harper, mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecoHansen31/pseuds/HecoHansen31
Summary: After seeing Dick get through one of the worst periods of his life, you are enlisted by his friends to figure out a plan to cheer him up.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Reader
Kudos: 11





	“We All Deserve Second Chances...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, lovelies!
> 
> In on of their insightful comments @dukethmas said that Roy and Donna would be teaming up with Dick’s s/o to cheer him up, which made me think about a possible sequel for an ask that I wrote (the link is above).
> 
> So, I thought about creating this, which I hope you’ll enjoy and if you want to leave a comment or a reblog, I’ll for ever like you.
> 
> Feedback is always too little sadly, although writing takes a lot of energy and time, so if you enjoy my (and other authors’) creations, I’d like to tell you to show support, also because it instanctly motivates us to write more!

## ... But Not For The Same Mistake” by _Thabiso Owethu Xabanisa_

~~(I tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible, but do let me know if I can do something better, because I am used to writing fem! Reader, but I wanted to try to be more inclusive!)~~

_Sequel to_ [ **_this ask_ ** ](https://lostoctaviaaugusta.tumblr.com/post/640046471340769280/ddarker-dreams-fanfic-writer-asks-1-whats)

It wasn’t every day that you got a call from a superhero.

So, it was a truly special day when you received one on behalf of two superheroes.

You had been actually on your lunch break, keeping tabs on Dick with your daily message to know how he felt that day, since although he had started being active again, going on patrols and doing the daily chores around the house…

… there were days when it would take him a bit more of strength to get out of the bed.

And although he wouldn’t show it, he appreciated the fact that you took out of your day to check on him.

Your phone was open so you had immediately seen the incoming calls and the unknown number had honestly startled you, mostly because although on any other day you would have thought that it might be some of the usual commercial phone calls that stole five minutes of your time…

… you were worried it might be somebody giving you some bad news related to Dick.

Because, although Dick had gone back to patrolling, it didn’t mean that he had gotten over Jason’s death and you doubted that he ever would, which was something natural and that you understood completely.

And this meant that he had even less care for whatever happened to him.

He had also grown crueler in his gestures, as you heard whenever you grabbed ahold of the Blundhaven tabloids, but honestly that wasn’t your main concern.

Not when you came home to him having more bruises than usual.

‘’Tis nothing but a scratch’ he always joked, but his smile never reached his eyes and you just mumbled a small ‘be careful’ before going to wrap up his wound, scared by how unflinching he was at your gestures, as if he was used to the pain.

For this reason and a few others, you had moved back with him, justifying it to Dick with having problems with your recent roommates, alongside your rent going up.

And although he hadn’t told you, he knew that they were lies.

But he didn’t seem to mind.

In the end you weren’t all that present, having to wake up in the earliest hours of the morning, (right when he came back from patrol) since your workplace wasn’t as near to Dick’s house as your previous apartment had been, and coming home at night, if you were lucky by dinner time.

If you arrived even later, Dick would already be gone.

Which meant most of the time you went days without seeing each other. 

All these thoughts were washed away by the insistence of the caller and although the prefix didn’t match up the one of the Blundhaven hospital (you had it memorized by now), you rushed to answer it.

Just to discover that apparently superheroes knew about you.

A mere civilian.

And the superhero who had looked for you wasn’t somebody ordinary.

No, no.

It was Donna Troy.

“Hi! Am I talking with…” your name sounded gentle in her mouth, her whole tone seeming friendly, although you didn’t know yet who she was, but it was revealed quickly and it got your mouth to open in pure awe “… I am Donna Troy, Dick’s friend”.

Of course, you knew that Dick had superhero friends.

You always joked that you were his ‘Blundhaven contact’, and Dick, always the observing child, had noticed that it wasn’t simply a joke for you.

That it was basically you putting yourself down and apart from his other friend, as if you existed only in Blundhaven, for him.

As if he could forget about you once he was away from the town where you had met each other.

‘… you are my Blundhaven idiot’ he had muttered back and he had brought you closer on the sofa that you were both sat onto, getting you to lean against his chest ‘… you are a superhero for putting up with me’.

‘Yeah, that’s true’.

That had gotten you a tickle attack.

But the voice on the other line and the revelation got you to choke on your breath.

“… ahem… did I get the wrong the number?” muttered Donna, on the other line, gently moving the phone away from her ear as if she was looking to someone nearby asking for confirmation “… Roy, I swear to Hera… that if you freaking told me the wrong num…”.

“It’s me!” you screamed onto the phone, getting a few weird looks from the people around you in the work canteen, as you blushed and send them a small apologetic look, moving to close yourself around the phone.

Preferring to avoid having a crying fit in front of them all, you grabbed your stuff and went into your own private office for a bit of privacy.

“… I am just… surprised…”.

Again, Dick might not think of you any less for not being able to punch through walls, but you highly doubted that his friend knew of you, a civilian.

“… well, I do hope I didn’t catch you in a wrong time” the woman sounded uncomfortable although her tone was steady, definitely sensing your uneasiness “… if you are busy, we can schedule a better time”.

You honestly doubted that there’ll ever be a better time.

“No, it isn’t a problem” you mumbled back, not wanting to seem rude to somebody who could probably throw you against a wall in a few minutes “… I am just a bit… oh Gosh, I hope this won’t sound rude, but… I just didn’t honestly think that you would know who I even was”.

The silence on the other line made you aware of how weird the words sounded.

Why couldn’t Dick rub off a bit of his smart talk onto you?

“… ahem… Dick do talk about you… a lot” Donna’s tone wasn’t meant to be arrogant, although the words sounded this way, almost as if it was the most obvious of answers “… we had to ask Bruce for your number, but we knew of you through Dick’s tales about you, like that time you, two …”.

She cut herself off halfway, her hilarity completely shattered.

As if not only what she wanted to say was a secret, but also, she thought that the tone of the revelation didn’t match up the one of the conversation.

And that worried you.

Had Dick gone back to his previous squads during those days?

Had something happened?

“… either way, I am blabbering” her gentle tone came back, but you could picture her biting her lips by the light wet sound that followed her words “… I wanted to ask you how Dick is feeling”.

Your silence must have sounded like an accusation to her and not the utter surprise of being trusted with such a question.

“… we sent him a few letters, to express our feelings and to offer him help … we even tried to call him, but he has been shutting us all off, sadly” her words had a pang of pain that you could feel through the miles that probably separated you, two “… we wanted to contact him, and Roy… who is by my side, sadly… he suggested contacting Dick’s partner”.

“Oh”.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Your mind went completely blank and you heard again Donna calling out to you, as the phone fell from your grip, effectively slamming against your desk.

The sound of the that startled you as Donna calling out for you made you grip the phone, bringing it onto your ear again, as you tried to compose yourself.

“… I am not Dick’s partner” it sounded almost indignant.

Which you didn’t want to be.

Because you wouldn’t have been indignant if you had been Dick’s partner and lover.

But you thought that he might be at such an offending comment.

He certainly didn’t think of you as his partner.

“… are you sure?” Donna’s tone definitely caught on the disbelief in your voice and hadn’t you been a complete stranger you would have thought that this woman was almost making fun of you “… Roy has just lost five dollars”.

“Sorry” you were simply able to shoot back, before trying to push this whole conversation onto Dick and not you “… although I am not Dick’s partner, I can tell him something, if you need me to… he recently has started back his… work… but in my humblest opinion, he might benefit from a bit of relax…”.

“… we just wanted to know how he feels” now that tone sounded utterly vulnerable and you couldn’t help but let out a sad smile “… he has been cutting all the contacts with us, and we wanted to let him have all the time he needed to mourn who he lost, it is withing his rights, but we are getting worried about his silence”.

You couldn’t help but understand her own worry.

It had been yours.

It was still yours.

“… he has started… to try to get back to his usual routine” which you weren’t sure was inherently a good thing, so your whole voice tried to sound as neutral as possible as you heard Donna on the other line take a sharp intake of breath “… he is still mourning and trying to figure out how to deal with the feelings that entails”.

Because the five stages of grief were true.

But they were filled with miniscule sensations and emotions that somebody like Dick didn’t know how to recognize wholeheartedly and stabilize in a healthy way that involved a growth, instead of walking a straight line that turned into a cycle of neglect towards himself and the others around him.

The fact that he had shut off Donna and Roy, two of his best friends, according to him, definitely told you that the fact that he now dressed his pain with the Nightwing suit didn’t mean any sort of progress in the way he dealt with the aftermath of Jason’s death.

“… I have been trying to help him, being with him through this difficult period…” you knew all too well that it was a euphemism “… but sadly, I am not able to tie him to a chair and hold him there till he realizes that he is allowed to feel something and that he won’t be destroyed for doing that”.

“Honestly, I doubt that even I could tie him down” shot back Donna’s voice, effectively startling you, since you had almost forgotten of her presence on the other line, in your monologue about Dick’s “… but I am glad he has somebody like you, taking care of him”.

“I don’t think that I have done much” it wasn’t an attempt to be humble.

It was how you felt, truly.

You just felt like you could be useful to Dick on something other than an exterior basis, caring for him and almost babying him, but you couldn’t get yourself in his mind and either influence him with your own thoughts and ideas, preferring to keep them to yourself since you knew how volatile Dick could be when he was wounded.

And an angry Dick was a dangerous thing to behold.

“He let you in” Donna’s reply did surprise you and probably as she caught your startled gasp, she added “… I do think that already shows that you have done something more than us to make him understand what he needs…”.

“You give me too much credit”.

“Or maybe you don’t give yourself enough” it was followed by a lighthearted laugh, which you joined softly, although it definitely sounded more croaked than the woman’s one “… you are probably busy, and you owe me nothing… but would you like to have a coffee with me and Roy to talk about this?”.

Could you, again, say no to such a proposal?

Probably you should have.

Because it felt like some kind of surprise attack onto Dick.

You knew that Donna wasn’t certainly interested in your eloquence and you didn’t blame her for it, but you certainly knew that this would have been some kind of betrayal to Dick.

It wasn’t done with any bad thought against him.

Meeting up with his two other best friends might actually be helpful.

But you guessed that there was a reason behind his rejection of his previous friends’ attempts to contact him.

You imagined it was probably due to the shame he felt, alongside with the anxiety and fear of not being able to protect his friends, as it had happened with Jason.

And you doubted that he would ever be able to get over the fact that somehow…

… somehow it wasn’t his fault.

“… you obviously don’t have to” Donna’s voice had softened, probably understanding and feeling your uneasiness “… I am already grateful with you for sharing your words with me, but I would just like to be useful”.

“It’s two of us” your tone sounded bitter than you wanted to “… I’ll think about it, if you don’t mind”.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry!” Donna’s voice seemed like she could definitely taste victory with the way you had replied “… this is my phone number, do call me if you end up accepting, we’ll be staying in Blundhaven till the weekend”.

You were definitely surprised by the fact that they were Blundhaven.

You wondered whether this was also a surprise attack on you.

But unlike Dick, you held no bad feelings for this.

But you weren’t the wounded one.

“… and sorry again for the ‘partner’ thing… we honestly thought that by now you were already married and Dick had hidden it from us to avoid teasing”.

Well, this conversation was truly getting better and better.

And when you found the strength to reply through the embarrassment, your voice still sounded choked.

“… no worries” as little effort as you could, although you didn’t want to sound rude “… and I’ll let you know for that coffee”.

“Thank you for thinking about it” and then Donna closed the conversation.

And you were glad she did it, because you were now able to breathe again.

For a few minutes before what had truly happened settled in.

Fuck.

* * *

It had taken you quite some time to finally accept Donna’s offer.

You had arrived at that fateful Friday morning not knowing what was going on.

And then Friday night had come.

Your social life, even before you came back to Dick’s apartment, hadn’t been brewing with options, so also that night you had spent it with make-up tutorials and browsing aimlessly Wikipedia after having searched up something, related to the movie you were mindlessly watching.

And in a few hours, the tiredness of work and everything else had taken you down in a dreamless sleep on Dick’s sofa, from which you were startled awake by a loud banging of the door that got you to almost fall face first in the small table in the dining room.

Your hand had reached for something as a weapon, since although Blundhaven wasn’t as bad as Gotham, you did live with a vigilante that had been trained by a paranoid control freak, so Dick always told you to be aware of your surroundings and to carry yourself in a defense mode at all times.

Even more when he wasn’t with you.

Still, you soon came to understand there wasn’t any threat.

Aside from a rather angry Nightwing.

He crashed against the pile of letters and other paper items that you would throw away the following day and had set up by the entryway.

Not even noticing the mess, he cursed loudly, till he noticed you a bit startled by his rage but holding yourself on the sofa.

And his gaze softened.

And as soon as it did, he shifted it away from you.

It was a whole horrible period to be thinking about this.

But you couldn’t help but go through Donna’s words again.

How they had all known about you, because Dick had talked about you to them.

Which you guessed made sense, since although he could be guarded about his alliances, he certainly talked a lot when comfortable with somebody.

But they had thought you were Dick’s partner.

So, it made you wonder the way Dick described you to them.

If you were missing some clue in the way he talked with you, every day.

Had you been wrong in not trying to pursue a relationship with him?

Still, nothing seemed to matter now.

You knew that there was something called ‘transfer’, in these cases, and it wasn’t healthy if you had taken advantage of Dick’s gratitude for your own gestures.

“… sorry for waking you up” he muttered, rushing for his room, but he hissed as his feet hit the ground and his body weight leaned down onto it, probably pulsing down a dislocated ankle, if not broken.

“Dick, do you need me to take a look at your leg?” he was halfway through ducking far away from you and as much as you knew that it was better not to stick your nose in his business, you had to add lightly “… for old times’ sake?”.

The fact that you threw it onto a comic tone, definitely caught Dick’s attention and he backed lightly as he moved to reach you on the sofa, making you squat down on it till you reached the end of the bed to allow him as much space as he wanted, as he limped down at the center.

Not right next to you and neither as far away as possible, from you.

“… I just misplaced my foot meanwhile doing a jump, I should be fine with a bit of rest and sleep”.

Which you knew he wasn’t getting.

But you just nodded as if you believed his lie and shifted so you could examine closer his ankle, thankfully swollen but not broken due to the fact that although it obviously pained Dick to move it, he could move it properly.

Ice and time would definitely lessen the swelling, since you knew that the hospital was off-limits.

“Do you still have the… leg brace you used when you broke your leg?” you muttered as you got up, glad of not having to face him since it made the whole conversation appear lighter “… I don’t think that it is broken but it might keep it steady…”.

“If it isn’t broken, then I don’t need it” it was his way of saying ‘let’s drop the subject’ and you respected it, moving to get the ice from the fridge as you wrapped it up carefully in a clean rag you found “… and beside… I don’t think that it would fit me… I used to be a few pounds lighter…”.

The last part of his phrase was a way of saying: ‘I am sorry I sounded like an asshole’.

“… I don’t think that is how it works” ‘I recognize it, Dick, but I am not your enemy’ “… but I guess ice will have to do for now”.

And you passed it in his hands, since you thought that in cases like this physical touch wasn’t something that he wanted unless he asked.

So, you were startled when his hands brushed lightly onto yours, a brief contact but you felt Dick’s eyes searching yours during that exchange and you didn’t mean to be cruel, but you thought that if you looked at him, you would have started crying.

“… thank you” he mumbled, and you could feel the pang of guilt in his voice as you denied him that eye-contact, which you tried to soothe with a gentle brush against the back of the sofa to convince him to come closer, if he wanted.

Which he welcomed much to your heart content.

Revealing a trail of blood onto the back of the sofa.

“Dick!” you called out, noticing it and realizing that the swollen ankle had been the last of his problems.

“Yeah, sorry for the sofa… I’ll pick up something to clean it, tom …”.

You wanted to shake him.

You were honestly tempted to slap him.

Not with any viciousness but to bring him back to reality.

To make him realize that the sofa was the least of his problems.

But the cut on his side was the first.

And something you could handle.

So instead, you breathed in deeply, pushing gently a hand on Dick’s back to reassure him and to avoid making him move away from you, as you mentally tried to remember where you might find the first aid kit you used to use for the worst nights of his patrol.

“You’ll need stitches, other than ice” you tried to keep your voice on its ‘annoyed’ setting, because you knew the other option would have been the inevitable crying and breaking voice that would have pushed Dick to bolt away.

“For old times’ sake!” had shot back Dick, returning your own words to you, as you eyed him with a mixture between true annoyance at his large mouth and anger at his reckless behavior.

“… yeah, my sight is much worse than it used to be, so don’t complain when I prick you in the ass”.

You had stitched him back in silence and even when you had finished your threadwork, you couldn’t help but feel tense again and had been glad that Dick hadn’t mentioned it, preferring to push himself back in his room, probably a bit too tired to bring out a true fight for your careful attentions on him.

And you were honestly grateful for that, mostly because you honestly were too emotional to have a proper verbal sparring with him.

And only when he had softly leaned down to kiss the crown of your head to wish you ‘goodnight’ you had realized the reason why you felt so tense.

And the reason why you had to enlist more help than yours.

You wouldn’t have survived, if you had ended up losing Dick.

So, the following morning, after a night in which you had barely slept, you called Donna.

* * *

You couldn’t help but think that the fact that you had put so much thought in your outfit for such an occasion was a bad distraction for the true theme of the meeting.

You probably wondered whether the perfect outfit could give you the confidence to know what could be done with Dick and to cover yourself from the guilt you felt for doing such a thing, behind his back.

He had actually caught you trying out various outfits checking yourself out in the bathroom mirror, since although you had your own room in the apartment it was badly furnished with little furniture which meant that you either had to move to the bathroom to check your figure or Dick’s room.

Which you preferred to avoid.

But you were still caught by a half-asleep Dick, meanwhile you tried on a suit.

He sent you a questioning look since it was Saturday and you usually didn’t work on it, but a smile of understanding quickly opened its way on his face.

‘Who is the luck guy?’.

You had never been that happy of having a ‘date’, you swore.

‘Nobody you know of’ you joked lightly, not truly knowing how to lie to Dick, who probably took your silence as some kind of ask for privacy and simply suggested that you added the earrings which he got you for Christmas.

‘They match your eyes’.

And now, in your expensive outfit you didn’t feel in any way covered from the guilt of having lied to Dick and having gone behind his back.

So, you simply hoped this would work out for the best.

When you arrived at the bar you had chosen (some unknown bar that you had discovered on one of your outings without Dick), Roy and Donna had already been there, chatting lightly as they waved off a waiter that had come to take their orders, making you wonder whether you had arrived late.

So, you had rushed inside, wondering how you should salute the two superheroes, eventually settling onto calling out to them with a small and tentative ‘hello?’.

Roy had immediately stood up, coming towards you and for a moment you had been scared that he’d try to hug you, and he probably noticed your uneasiness, choosing to settle to give you his hand.

“Roy Harper”.

“Sorry I made you lose five dollars” you didn’t know what prompted you to say that, but the small smirk on Roy’s face definitely showed you that he appreciated it “… I do think that you already know who I am”.

“It’s nice to see you face to face” muttered Donna, her voice low but powerful enough to get your attention immediately as she offered you her own hand, meanwhile Roy called over the waiter they had refused a few minutes before you had entered “… what would you like?”.

You had asked a few minutes to consult the menu and Roy had been more than happy to take your place asking for a glass of orange juice and a one of vodka, just to be reprimanded by Donna that ‘it was just 10 a.m. in the morning’.

“… I said I’d have also an orange juice, didn’t I?” shot back the redhead at the brunette, who eventually let the whole argument ago, although there was a pang of sadness in her eyes at that gesture, following it with her own order and then it was your turn who chose for a cup of tea, since you still felt tense.

Whether it was for the lack of sleep or your worries for Dick, you preferred to avoid coffee.

As the waiter left you alone, an awkward silence fell onto you, three, and you couldn’t help but focus on the loud way the menu snapped close as Roy put it down, choosing to move his head to search the waiter that had left them just a few minutes prior.

He seemed to seriously need the vodka.

And you couldn’t blame him.

Maybe you should have gone with tequila, instead of tea.

“So…” Donna’s voice sounded even prettier than on the phone, but it had a deeper timbre than you had pictured, which matched to her whole physique showing that she wasn’t one to be underestimated and neither taken for what she appeared “… how are you?”.

It was her way of saying ‘how is Dick’.

“Haven’t slept well” which was a way of replying ‘I am worried about Dick, enough to put off sleep’.

“… ever tried those sleep spray?” butted in Roy, his face still searching the waiter, but his tone definitely trying to be supportive of Donna’s question, as she gently brushed her hands against his exposed arm through his shirt.

“… you mean chloroform?” you had shot back, and a light laughter had filled the bar, something like nostalgy even hazing the two friends’ eyes as they faced you again.

“Does Dick enjoy your dark humor?”.

“I don’t know, since he is on the other side of every bad joke I make” you shot back, getting Roy to finally fully relax to face you with a small smirk, although you could see that he was on the verge of breaking, exactly as Donna was obviously worried.

“… how is Dick doing?” the fact that you had shown to Donna that you didn’t shy away from darker matters must have made her understand that she could speak freely with you and you were grateful for it.

“… exactly the same as I have told you on the phone” you tried to make your tone sound the least like a reprimand you could, swallowing up the guilt that came with the Dick’s mention “… he went out last night and got hurt… I had to patch him up… if I hadn’t, he would have gone to sleep with his hip stabbed and a foot swollen”.

Your voice was a whisper, but it had a big impact on both Roy and Donna.

But it didn’t sound like a surprise to both of them.

Although you had been Dick’s roommate, you had a limited knowledge of the various personas that he held inside of himself, mostly the ones that were related to his vigilante life, since it was both to protect you from everything he went through and avoiding you becoming a target for his enemies.

So, although this behavior might be big news for you, you felt like it wasn’t the same for Roy and Donna.

This meeting was seriously necessary.

“Thank you for looking over him” again that saccharine tone that made you feel like you were being cut out by Donna “… he is… always reckless, when he feels like there is no other option.

And what no other option truly meant was ‘no other reason for him to live’.

“… does he do that often?”.

Both Roy and Donna shared a look, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit offended by the fact that they had to check whatever they told you, although you knew they didn’t mean it in a way that was related to how much you could take, but more to how much they could say without Dick knowing.

“… he does” you weren’t all that glad when Roy answered you truthfully.

It seemed you couldn’t win, in these situations.

“… he isn’t the best at taking care of himself on a regular basis” added Donna, a smirk on her lips at that “… I once caught him trying to get a bullet out with my eyebrow tweezers, I almost thought about the tying up idea, back then”.

“Tying up?” Roy looked desperately eager for that innuendo “… kinky”.

“But the problematic…” you knew that although it pained you to vocalize your fear and thought “… is that he… is stuck… in destructive behaviors that doesn’t allow him to see the people standing on the sidelines for him”.

Donna and Roy looked taken aback.

Before understanding settled in their eyes.

“… I don’t… I don’t wish him to wake up and ask me for help, I don’t think that is what Dick would ever do, like in his vocabulary ‘help’ doesn’t exist aside for others… but… I just would like…” you looked down your hands as you waited for the waiter to move away “… for him to know that he can count on me and that it won’t kill me”.

Because it would have killed you to know that you could have done more when you were at his own funeral.

“He lost Jason and I know that what he is doing is his way to react to it…” since you had started talking you couldn’t stop and you weren’t sure it was a good thing, because it stopped you from putting a filter between your mouth and brain “… he thinks that protecting others is the sole thing he can do to right what he thinks is ‘his’ wrong, because he wasn’t there for Jason”.

“Ever thought about being a therapist?” Roy’s voice shook you from your ramblings.

And as you shook your head you noticed that you had tears streaming down your face.

You were thankful when Donna passed you discreetly a small tissue, and when your hand clasped onto her to grab it, she gently held it leaning lightly on you, in a way that wasn’t invasive as it was supporting with an empathy that made you understand why she and Dick went along so well.

They were both the definition of ‘good people’.

How could you even compete with that?

But you guessed that in the end it wasn’t anything at all about that.

Maybe people that were too similar were just deemed to push themselves away on the romantic side.

And yet, why would Dick choose you?

“Thank you for sharing this with us” Donna’s voice was soothing and as much as you wanted to resist it and not make an utter fool of yourself, it did help with how you were feeling “… I do think that you make some good points… one of which being his need to help others, maybe we should focus on that”.

You were surprised by what Donna said, but you guessed that having two more pair of eyes might mean seeing things from various points of view.

“… Donna is right” commented Roy, as he shifted to the girl who sent him a sweet smile “… our birdie is an idiot at expressing his feelings, and he does mostly through action thatn meaningful crying sessions… which means that we need to understand what will make him feel safer and change this headset”.

“I don’t think that he will ever change it” you didn’t want him to change his devotedness to the people he cared about.

You wanted to make him realize that he could care for himself, alongside protecting others.

“… what I do think that can be done is… trying to push him into protecting one person at the time and making him realize that he can be protected by us, too” Donna summed up, turning to both you and Roy “… which is easier said than done, honestly, I won’t lie”.

“This is very…” you gently brought the tissue to your eyes again “… true. But… I do know what you can do…”.

Donna and Roy’s attention onto you was definitely a new level of ‘why are you looking at me as if I am holding the Holy Grail?’.

“… you said that you… got shut off… and that is because I do think that Dick now is raw… think of him like… somebody who recently burned a part of his body…” you felt stupid for the metaphor but it was the first thing that you could come up with “… the skin of the burn is… sensitive even if he doesn’t acknowledge it and your actions are too… intense”.

“We have kept our distance” you understood Roy’s anger, but Donna gently put a hand onto his arm, almost to tell him to continue on listening “… sorry, I didn’t…”.

“No, don’t worry… you have been his friends for longer than me… I just…” you shook your head, lightly, as Donna pushed also a hand onto her, effectively linking you three as she sent you an encouraging smile “… what I am saying is that… you might scare him off… I scare him off when I ask how he feels! But if you… let him know you are looking after him… he’ll like it… and maybe it’ll convince him to lean onto us instead of kicking villains’ ass”.

You all laughed crookedly.

“… so… we shall do the usual ‘let’s stalk Dick and hug him when he isn’t holding a weapon’ “suggested Roy, as his hand wrapped around the small vodka glass, just to push lightly away.

“I think staying alive might be already a nice gift for him” you muttered.

“That boy has such low standards!” bumped in Donna and the laugh that left your lips was definitely more genuine.

“… also… just… insisting but in a way that isn’t invasive, messages are nice… but I have seen him shut down a call from Batman, so… ahem… no calls, just letting him know that you are there, he needs time, but he also needs to know that you are there… he is complex”.

“More like a pain in the ass” shot back Roy, lightly pushing with his shoulder Donna, a childish gleam in his eyes as the girl pushed him back with a little bit more of force, effectively getting him to get up and move to obviously pay the bill.

You tried to protest, also noticing that an hour and half had passed, meanwhile you three talked.

Time really runs out fast when you are having fun.

“… don’t worry, it is actually the least we could do for what you did for us” muttered Donna “… and he owes me so many coffees at five, so don’t worry, I am not totally doing this for you”.

You laughed at that.

“Thank you, then” you muttered, waiting for Roy to come back with the receipt and then getting her coat on, as Donna told you that they would be accompanying you outside.

Roy remained behind to use the restroom, leaving you with Donna.

And Gosh, if you had thought Donna was beautiful and powerful seated, she now looked damnably perfect in her elegant red and black get up with her electric blue eyes being even more highlighted by the frail light of the sun.

You were definitely mesmerized by that sight.

Enough that you didn’t understand fully what she said next.

“You should tell him”.

You were taken aback by the affirmation of the woman and she immediately noticed that you hadn’t understood her fully, so she simply sent you a smile, with a bit of malice in her gleaming eyes.

“… Dick… you should tell him how you feel”.

No matter how much you wanted to hide it, you felt like it would have been useless to deny that to somebody who owned a lasso of truth.

“… I don’t think it is the right moment” you simply replied, hoping it’d keep the discussion at bay.

Donna definitely seemed the type of person who could hold a secret, but at the same time it was painful for you to speak out something that had been inside of your mind for so long.

In your mind you could deal with it, which meant ignoring it mostly, but outside of it… it was basically like…

… a mess.

“… it rarely is” shot back Donna, as if she knew about it “… but I do think that you should tell him”.

And before you could reply, Roy came back and both you and Donna tried to appear like you weren’t having this conversation, obviously the blue-eyed woman completely succeeding, meanwhile you looked like you were choking on something.

“We should do this more often” muttered Roy, as he got to finally hug you, taking you by surprise “… you are funnier than the blue bird!”.

“I’ll make sure to tell him” you wouldn’t have even told him about this ‘meet-up’ but it was nice to see the bewildered look on Roy, who then proceeded to laugh, just to be pushed off from you by Donna, who did agree with him about hoping to see you again.

“Keep us updated” she added, before saluting you and dragging Roy alongside her, as you decided to sprint a bit to one of your and Dick’s favorite fast food, hoping that the greasy food would cheer him up, since he had gone back to having his usual appetite.

Which meant he could outeat you, at every meal.

And it was your own small apology for going behind his back to meet Roy and Donna.

You had almost wondered whether Dick had left for a walk outside, since he had taken that habit now that he was off duty due to a small leave for ‘family problematics’.

And he always went on them alone, but your guess was actually debunked when you noticed Dick’s head peaking from the sofa.

You tried to make as little of noise as possible, worried he might be sleeping as you adjusted the bag with the greasy food onto the kitchen island, meanwhile you got off your shoes and hang your coat.

But once you were done, Dick turned his head.

And you immediately noticed he was angry.

“…had fun on your date?” he simply muttered, and you wondered whether he was jealous.

He had actually seemed quite calm about you going on that date, when he had surprised you trying out various outfits, but Dick had always been protective of you and extremely judgy of all your previous partners, but…

“… ahem yes” you tried to keep your tone calm and vague as you busied yourself with getting the food out of its bag, holding it as a peace offer ‘… I got food from that place…”.

“Did you have fun with Roy and Donna?”.

You were extremely surprised, and the confection of hot dogs you had in your hands fell onto the ground as your hands lost its grip onto it, preferring to clutch tighter on their own as Dick’s eyes zeroed onto you, as if you were one of the rogues he fought every night.

“How do you know about that?” you weren’t certainly going to deny it, but you wouldn’t have allowed Dick to treat you that way, although you knew it was a useless mechanism to answer anger with anger “… stalked me around, Dickie?”.

The nickname got him to even flare up more, as his hand came onto the pillow beside him and hadn’t it been a soft object you were sure he would have broken it.

His hands then hastily rushed onto the phone on top of the table, and he unblocked it quickly showing that a Blundhaven tabloid had caught your small ‘appointment’ with Donna and Roy, focusing on them and shooting a few photos.

Your name wasn’t in the article, but it would take less than a side profile picture for Dick to understand that it was you.

“… so now you know everything…” he muttered, pursuing his lips in a grimace of pure disdain, as his eyes went utterly cold “… I do think that I deserve to know what you talked about behind my back… and let me have a guess… you talked about ‘how much poor Dickie needs fucking help’…”.

“Not in those terms” you tried to make light of the situation, thinking that although you had gone behind Dick’s back, you could maybe explain to him that you hadn’t done it against him and neither to interfere with his life, but just to simply try to focus on how they could help him feel better “… but the general gist was indeed how to help you”.

“I don’t need your help” it was a childish protest, and hadn’t you been utterly against physical violence, you would have slammed his face against the kitchen table, hoping it would knock some sense into the boy.

His own aggressiveness was seeping onto you.

And you weren’t scared of it.

You doubted that Dick would hit you.

But you were sure that you both could be absolutely vicious, if brought to the breaking point.

“… tell me that again, when you don’t stumble at home with a broken ankle and a stab wound on your hips” you replied annoyedly, taking a step forward to stand your ground towards Dick, as he turned and got up fully from the sofa, coming face to face with you.

You knew it was a bad attempt at appearing intimidating.

But you just stood steadier on your own feet.

“… it isn’t any of your business” he replied, as he came so close that his chest bumped again your own and then back lightly, as you instead moved forward stopping him from fully turning away from you.

“Why is it so hard to get through your fucking head that people care about you and that doesn’t mean them sticking their fucking nose in your business?!”.

You were taken aback by your own words.

And slightly slumped back, almost hit by your words as much as Dick was.

You couldn’t help but feel like it was the right thing to say.

And yet, it was the wrong moment.

“Get out of my house” it was a whisper that hung painfully between you two, and your surprised face must have told him that you refused to acknowledge what he had just said “… get the fuck out of my house!”.

“Dick…” you tried to call him out, as you felt like everything in you was breaking “… I am sorry… but I can’t…”.

“You can’t deal with me” it was his simple reply “… honestly I was just… waiting for it to happen”.

And that’s what broke you.

And made you feel like no matter what, you wouldn’t have been the solution to his problems.

You couldn’t be.

No matter how much you tried to.

Then was it worth it trying?

Your head hung low and you couldn’t see the horrified look on Dick’s face as his own words settled upon himself, and you moved back lightly till you reached the coat-hanger and took your own coat and small bag with your essentials.

“… I’ll come and pick up my things, tomorrow, when you are off” and then careful to avoid any noises you closed the door behind yourself, resisting the utter urge to slump back against it once it was closed and crying, and instead took to running.

And you just stopped when you felt the rain on your face.

\---

Five years had passed since you had moved away from Blundhaven, accepting a promotion that had sent you living abroad for a short period that had turned then to be a few .

And even when you had moved back in America, changing your job, you hadn’t gone back to Blundhaven.

You didn’t want to say that your life hadn’t been full of happiness, because you realized that you had been truly lucky being fulfilled both in job and social experiences, but you knew that you missed Dick, intensely.

But you were both terrorized by the thought of him still being angry at you.

And you were honestly still annoyed and wounded by the last words he had told you.

And in the end, you had just though that you could push yourself to stop thinking about him.

But you guessed it was impossible.

Because no matter how happy or busy you were, Dick Grayson was in the back of your mind, smirking happily and reassuring you.

Donna and Roy had contacted you a few days after the fiasco.

They had been both apologetical of what had happened to you.

But strangely Dick had gone back to talking with them and you were glad of hearing that and had kept tabs onto him through them for the first months of your move across the ocean.

But in the end, it was just too painful.

So, you had let that last contact with him go.

And then a year ago, Pierre, your boyfriend of two years, had proposed to you and although Dick was right in the back of your mind, you had accepted.

Pierre was a sweet guy, who respected your boundaries and when he had at first tried courting you, he had stepped off once you had told him that you came back from a ‘tough relationship’ and only when you had done the first move, thinking of forgetting Dick and being ready for a new relationship, he had gone back to the flirtatious cutie he was.

You felt like you would have broken his heart, if you had told him no.

And that there must have been something inherently wrong in you to have a man like Pierre loving you and still not feel fully in love with him, as somebody else would have been.

So, you had gotten married the month before in a soft-spoken ceremony with the closest of your friends and family, being truly happy till you had realized that you had pictured doing this with Dick the whole time.

But you had told yourself that it would pass with time.

And now a month after your dream wedding, you were on your honeymoon…

… in Gotham.

You had been surprised finding this out, but you had tried your best not to disrupt completely Pierre’s happiness and his fanboying attitude towards Batman and everything related to him, eventually settling on an ‘adorably’ gothic vacation.

Not only Pierre was a fan of Batman, but also you had both combined the vacation with some business projects in there, since you were both two desperate workaholic.

You were currently at a souvenir shop, where they had everything Batman themed and Pierre, always the big baby, was currently choosing between a Robing plushie or a Batman mug, holding them up for you to see them.

“… buy them both, sweetheart” you muttered, honestly just wanting to get out of the shop although the scene was adorable.

It had taken you a swift look to the Nightwing section to have a sudden deja-vu.

“Oh, but… baby… they won’t fit in the luggage” complained your husband, making you smirk as you turned lightly to give him a bit of silent treatment as he went on with the reason why one was better than the other “… the Robin plushie is adorable and… it is a limited edition!”.

“Then get that!” your laugh was pure happiness.

And it was in this moment that you felt like your life without Dick Grayson could exist.

And yet, the universe said ‘fuck no’ to that.

“… sir, you are holding the last Robing plushie I’d like to purchase” the forma voice came from a child that could have max twelve years, dressed as impeccably as if he were on the red carpet and the contrasting aesthetic between his clothes and his young age definitely took you and Pierre back.

“… ahem… sir…?” called out to him the child, with an insistence that showed that he had definitely deemed the plushie as his already, and you gently took it from Pierre’s hands to put it in the child’s outstretched arms.

Just to receive a betrayed look from Pierre.

To which you replied with one ‘it’s a child, babe! You are almost thirty!’.

“… Damian!” you recognized him simply by the voice and your entire body moved to turn around, just to find yourself stuck on the ground as it brought you to inevitable demise “… don’t wander off… without telling me! I apologize for my little brother…”.

And then he raised his eyes form a very disgruntled ‘Damian’ onto you.

And recognition shone on his face.

You had thought that you had changed enough in these five years, but evidently something couldn’t change.

“… Pierre, just settle on the mug and let’s go or we’ll be late for the next thing on the Batman tour” you tried to rush in, before Dick woke up from the shock of having seen you two again.

“Alright, wifey!” giggled Pierre, too focused on his Batman-induced ecstasy to notice that you were definitely uncomfortable and tense.

But Dick caught quickly onto that and the fact that he had just called you ‘wifey’.

And he called out your name.

This time Pierre shook himself awake and looked at you with a question in his eyes.

More than jealousy, he was worried.

And you gently put a hand onto his, sending him off to pay for the mug with a simple ‘it’s a friend from when I worked in Blundhaven’.

And then he was off, with a last soft look at you.

How could Dick still have so much power on you when you had such a sweet man by your side?

You guessed that exactly as Dick was downright self-destructive, you had gotten some of the same attitude with half of your furniture after you had gotten from his apartment.

“… Grayson?” ‘Damian’ tried to catch his attention, lightly pulling on the sleeve of his jacket “… what is going on?”.

“Just an old friend” muttered Dick, turning with a soft smile towards the child, and you also understood why you hadn’t been able to forget about him “… go and ring up that plushie, and thank the lady”.

And much to your surprise at Damian’s smartass attitude, he did thank you before sprinting off, which got you to breath softly at that scene.

But you didn’t allow yourself to think about what it might have been.

“… so, you…” he muttered lightly as you tried to look everywhere except him “… nice”.

“… it’s nice to see you, again” you muttered, trying to keep your tone as steady as ever.

“You are married” it also seemed an obvious statement as your previous one “… he seems a nice guy”.

“He is” you replied, shooting a quick look at Pierre who was paying up what he had bought and turned to throw you a cheesy kiss, making you smirk, but you turned fast enough to catch Dick’s heartbroken expression.

And as much as some part of you wanted to be almost glad for that heartache, you couldn’t help but feel again that need to console him, although he wasn’t yours anymore.

When had he ever been?

“… and you have a child” you replied, sending a quick look at the child after Pierre, who was trying to get him to talk with him, although the Damian didn’t seem too convinced.

“Technically no” he muttered as you blushed, sending him a questioning look as if five years hadn’t passed “… he is Bruce’s, but he has imprinted on me…”.

“You were always good with children” you muttered with a soft smile, feeling like it was so easy to turn back into the time that you had both lost, as if five years hadn’t passed at all “… well, I do think that it was nice seeing you and all, but…”.

“I never got to say sorry” Dick’s hand shot out to your arm as his words “… I tried calling you, but I guess that you changed your number and you had every right, but… I just… wanted to… tell you this”.

“… what I did was also wrong” you muttered back, because as much as Dick seemed eager to tell you that, you had been eager to reply with that “… I am also sorry for going behind your back, but…”.

“You were right…” he choked a laugh at your confused face “… I needed help and wasn’t able to accept it from you or the others, and when you went away, it was… the thing that helped me realize I couldn’t go on this way for ever”.

“I am glad I was able to help” you couldn’t help but be a bit bitter at that comment, but still smiled softly at Dick, gently caressing the hand that was onto your arm.

“… but I lost a chance” his words were slow and for a moment you wondered whether it was because he meant them solely for himself or for you to hear “… a chance for a life with you”.

Donna had been right.

You should have told him.

Because now all you had were regrets.

Both of you.

“… me too” you muttered, and you felt something shine in Dick’s eyes, almost as if the embers of his anger had burned everything down and, now they were being rekindled by your daring words.

“Do you think we could have another chance at it?”.

**Author's Note:**

> No, it doesn’t end here, sweeties, but I thought I’d let you choose whether out Dickie deserves a second chance or not, and based on your answer and interest for this I’ll think about whether I might come up with a third installment of this ‘series’.
> 
> Also, I just want to clarify that a third installment doesn’t necessarily involved reader cheating on poor Pierre (yeah I named him after my bae Pierre Gasly, BABE), but simply recollecting with Dick, so that also might be an option...
> 
> Just let me know if you’d like me to wrote more about this AU!


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